Let’s face it: motivating kids can sometimes feel like a never-ending struggle. You try everything—bribing, pleading, even making empty threats (we’ve all been there), but nothing seems to stick. Simple praise or encouragement doesn’t always cut it.
That’s where structured reward systems come in. When done right, they can completely change the game, making your child more motivated, bringing order to your home, and turning everyday challenges into wins.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why isn’t my kid responding to rewards?” don’t worry. The key is finding the right reward system for them. Here’s how to do it.
Why Do Reward Systems Work?
Just like us, kids work for rewards. Whether it’s a paycheck, a treat after a long week, or a fun outing, we all need something to look forward to for good behavior or hard work. Kids are no different—they need a clear "why" behind their actions, something they can work toward.
However, not every reward system works for every child. Some kids love stickers; others couldn’t care less. Some need instant gratification, while others enjoy working toward long-term goals. It’s all about finding what works for your child.
The good news? Once you figure it out, the right system can transform your home.
How to Set Up a Reward System That Actually Works
Before you jump into a reward system, a little planning will make a big difference. Here’s how to set one up that works:
1. Choose a Reward That Excites Your Child
This is key! If your child doesn’t care about the reward, they won’t be motivated to earn it. Rewards should be based on what excites them, not what excites you.
For younger kids, rewards could include favorite toys, extra screen time, or ice cream. Older kids might prefer money, movie tickets, or extra time with friends.
It helps to visually display the reward. If it’s not something physical, use a picture to represent it.
2. Set Clear (and Achievable) Goals
Be specific. A goal like “Be good today” is too vague. Instead, focus on clear, actionable tasks.
For younger kids, this could include:
Brushing teeth
Staying in bed
Using the potty
For older kids, try:
Completing homework without a meltdown
Doing chores or other tasks on time
Start small with goals that are achievable. If your child struggles with math, don't aim for “get straight A's this semester.” Instead, aim for “get an A on the next two assignments.”
3. Decide How Often They Earn Rewards
Start with shorter periods for earning rewards. For example, maybe it takes five stickers to earn a small reward. As your child progresses, you can increase the number of stickers required or lengthen the time to earn a reward.
Adjust based on how they do. The more they succeed, the bigger the challenges can become.
4. Choose the Right System
There’s no one-size-fits-all reward system, but some systems work better for different kids. Let’s explore four effective options.
4 Reward Systems That Get Results
Once you understand the basics of setting up a reward system, let’s look at the four most effective methods.
1. Sticker Charts (Great for Younger Kids)
Sticker charts are simple, visual, and motivating. Here's how to use them:
Use a poster board or printable chart.
Decide how many stickers are needed for a reward (start small).
Define what behaviors earn stickers (e.g., brushing teeth, cleaning up toys).
Discuss the chart often to keep momentum going.
Celebrate when they hit their goal! A high-five or mini celebration goes a long way.
Kids love seeing their progress, especially with glittery or fun stickers. It’s a fun, visual way to stay motivated.
2. Reward Charts (For Older Kids Who Need Structure)
Reward charts are similar to sticker charts but a bit more grown-up. Instead of stickers, kids check off tasks to work toward a bigger reward.
This method works well for tracking:
Chores
Schoolwork
Long-term goals
It helps kids see their progress without constant reminders. It’s great for kids who are motivated by bigger rewards rather than daily incentives.
And, of course, when they achieve their goal, celebrate!
3. Coin-Based Systems (For Kids Who Like Tangible Rewards)
If stickers and checkmarks aren’t working, try a coin-based system. This is perfect for kids who like collecting things or saving up for a reward.
Here’s how it works:
Use tokens like plastic coins, poker chips, or homemade tokens.
Assign a value to the tokens—like 10 coins equals a trip to the prize box.
Create a treasure box with small toys, snacks, or privilege cards.
Let your child choose their reward with the tokens they’ve earned.
The fun part? Kids love the feeling of “spending” their earned tokens, which makes the reward system feel more like a game.
4. Instant Incentives (For Kids Who Need Quick Motivation)
Some kids need rewards right away to stay engaged. If that sounds familiar, try giving a small but meaningful reward immediately after they complete a goal.
For example, if your child struggles with sleeping through the night, give them two Hatchimal eggs every morning they stay in bed. Over time, the reward will become less necessary as the behavior becomes a habit.
What If It Doesn’t Work?
Sometimes, reward systems don’t work as expected—and that’s okay. If one system isn’t clicking with your child, try adjusting it. Maybe they need a different type of motivation, a more immediate reward, or a clearer goal.
The key is to stay consistent, but flexible enough to make changes if needed.
We even use reward systems in our special education tutoring sessions. Kids earn stars and pick a prize when they reach a set number. It works wonders in keeping them motivated.
Turning Everyday Struggles Into Wins
Parenting—especially when it comes to kids with unique needs—can feel like solving a puzzle with missing pieces. But with the right reward system, it becomes a little easier to manage. It helps create structure, turn challenges into small victories, and motivates your child to make progress every day.
So, whether you’re using sticker charts, token systems, or instant rewards, celebrate the small wins. Stay patient, and remind yourself that no parenting journey is perfect—but with the right tools, it gets easier.
You’ve got this!
Additional Resources
How to Motivate a Child to Study: Proven Strategies for Parents
29 Fun Activities to Help Kids Focus (With Proven Results)
39 Simple Ways to Celebrate Your Child’s Success
10 Benefits of Special Education Tutoring
If you’re looking for ways to support your child’s learning, we offer one-on-one special education tutoring—and it can be done from anywhere! Get started with a free consultation today!